In the Oklahoma Eating Disorders Association newsletter, Kristia Ford writes:
This morning I was sitting outside a favorite coffee shop, which is one of my favorite things and one way I show love to myself. As I was sitting there, I was paying close attention to all of the beauty that surrounded me. I then took a sip of my favorite fall drink, a Chai Latte; it tastes like fall in your mouth! As the first drop fell upon my lips, I became aware of how beautiful the trees were. There were three trees sitting in a row - the two on the end were still green, but the one in the middle had begun to change. Its leaves were starting to turn into a golden yellow with a kiss of warm orange. As I gazed upon this tree, I saw one leaf fall from its branch and gracefully dance through the morning breeze. It was one of the most beautiful moments I have seen in a long time. This was the beginning of a divine revolution that I was going to have later this day. I finished my Chai Latte and went about my busy day running from one class and meeting to another.
Before I knew it, it was almost seven o’clock and I was supposed to meet my rock-climbing partner for a nice evening climb. I gathered my things and rushed out the door. I arrive late, and I am feeling a little flustered as we begin our evening of climbing. First, I start on a wall that I have probably climbed ten times. I climb it, and it was fine. Then, my partner suggests that I try a new wall; I hesitantly agreed and went to the new wall. Once I arrive at the base of this new adventure I was nervous. I was nervous because it was new, and I didn’t want to fall. My partner assured me that I could conquer this new challenge. So, I took a breath and began to climb. At first, it wasn’t bad, and I began to feel confident. However, as soon as I felt this confidence, I looked down and my confidence disappeared. I felt lost. I started shaking, I didn’t know where to go, and I felt my hands slipping.
My partner tried to help by telling me where to place my hands and feet, but I hung with uncertainty too long and fell. I, of course, became frustrated and irritated at myself for slipping. My partner took up the slack in my rope and said, “Okay, try again!” I looked at her and said, “No, I don’t think I can do it.” And she said, “Just try again.” So, I took a breath and tried again.
I stood up on the wall, looked up and continued to climb. There came another rough part where I began to slip. She took up my slack and I fell again, but this time it wasn’t very far. I paused there for a moment and looked at the remainder of the wall. Then, I looked back at where I was. I placed my hands and feet against the wall once more. This time it was with a better grip and better understanding of the path that I needed to take to get to the top. Now, each time I slipped, I was able to get back up and start stronger. I finally made it to the top, and in that moment, I was so excited! I had just climbed the most difficult wall that I’ve ever attempted.
As my partner began to slowly lower me back to the ground, I started thinking about the whole day. Lightbulb! I started thinking about all the “falls” I had that day; I thought how sweet it is to have the taste of Fall on your lips as the sun shines upon your face; how beautiful it was for the one little leaf to let go of the tree in order for new life to grow; how brave I had become from trying a new adventure, and I thought how each fall made me stronger and gave me a new and clearer perspective of where I needed to go next. It’s because of those falls that I am a stronger climber today! In life, we are bound to fall, whether it is on a rock wall, in recovery, our spiritual journey, our relationships or whatever it may be. These “falls” can be the most wonderful and amazing gifts because they allow us to grow more in beauty, strength and bravery.
Today, I challenge you to think of an area in your life where you feel like you have fallen. Put your hands and feet back on the wall and continue to climb with a new and stronger clarity about where your next step should be. Maybe some of us need to be more like the leaf and let go so that new life can flourish.
Maybe some of us need to simply sit and breathe in the air and taste its beauty upon our lips. May you go about your day knowing that you are beautifully and wonderfully made through your falls and the strength of your rises, and that you are loved and cherished far beyond your wildest dreams!
Learn more about OEDA at http://www.okeatingdisorders.org.
